Monday, July 6, 2009

Driving disability?

I think that over the holiday weekends people come out from under rocks. I'm serious. The highways seem to be crowded with a lot more cars than you see on a typical weekend, and those extra cars are full of stupid drivers. You also see a ton of cops out. While everyone seems to think it is for speeders, I think it is for the stupid drivers on the road and then the drunk asses that decide to make a late night munchie run. I prefer having my drunk ass chauffeured.

So in light of the holiday weekend and more to come, I decided to make a list of things that you shouldn't do in a vehicle for those that have a driving disability.

1. It is rude to not let someone on the highway. I know that when you're on the on ramp of the highway you are supposed to yield, but honestly people already on the highway should be a bit more kind. When you don't have cars next you, change lanes and do us all a favor.

2. It is not OK to get on the highway going 30 mph. If I can get my 4-banger up to 60 mph before being on the highway, I know your v-8 can too.

3. Just because you suffer from big *&#@ truck syndrome, doesn't mean you get two or more parking places.

4. The left lane is for passing or for people that choose to speed go the speed limit. If you want to drive 40 mph on a 65 mph highway, please take your car to the right lane. (These drivers also help oncoming traffic)

5. If I have the possibility of dying from carbon monoxide poisoning while waiting at a stop light you should really get your car off the road.

6. If you decide to text while driving make sure you memorize the keys so you don't drive off the road and almost hit a light pole.

7. Semi's are scary, do not drive next to them or just a little bit ahead of them forcing other cars to be by the trailer.

8. While staring at a car wreck, pay attention to the car in front of you. If they stop and you don't you will become the one gawked at.

9. Wave when someone does something nice, such as letting you out of the gas station parking lot after numerous people have been greedy pricks.

10. As a matter of fact, you don't own the whole damn road so don't be stupid.

Here is only a small selection of Trixie's Rules for the Road: A Guide for Drivers suffering from Driving Disability Syndrome. Look for it on :)

*I'm not really publishing this book, but I think it is a good idea.


Melissa said...

I love these rules...everyone should follow them!

New England Girl said...

These are great and SO true. I HATE bad drivers... especially those who are too scared to drive the speed limit, change lanes, safely exit/enter the highway via ramps and don't know where they are going. It is so frustrating to get caught behind someone who has NO idea what they're doing! UGH!

Okay, time to calm down... deep breaths... :)

Jessica said...

Amen to these rules! Especially the "parking" and "texting" parts. Dumb drivers annoy me! Sometimes I wonder, if they do it on purpose, or they just don't have the common sense. Oh well, seems like common sense is not so common after all.

Al said...

i agree whole heartedly with each of those!! esp the wave. is it honestly that hard to lift an arm in thanks when someone lets you in? REALLY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! if im in a road rage mood and someone does not wave after i have kindly let them in even though in my head i am ramming them with my car i flash my lights at them incessantly. it helps the anger knowing i am now pissing them off! :)

Jess said...

Agreed with all those rules!! The people driving slowly in the fast lane drives me nuts!! You totally should write a book like that - I am sure a lot of people would love the idea.

A Oh Dub said...

DUDE! The morons were out and about where I was for the Fourth, was freaking annoying as hell. I like your rules.

Kym said...

oh my gosh, dont even get me started on stupid drivers! they're everywhere or no holiday. hahahaha!

Tamela said...

I think I kept my eyes closed the whole time we were driving around Chicago. It's scary!

Semi's scare the heck out of me. I hate being boxed in by them.

Oh and I'm back! Thanks for the sweet comment!

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