Monday, December 28, 2009

A look at Oklahoma Blizzard 2009

I have a ton of pictures that show you exactly why I was basically stranded all weekend. I made it home Christmas Eve, but didn't get back out on the roads until Saturday. Even today, it is still slushy and there is a chance you'll get stuck.

This blizzard made history, because we received 14.1 inches of snow, the most we've ever received in one day. Did I mention we are supposed to get snow tomorrow too?



















Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Blizzard Eve?

So, it's Christma Eve and I am snowed in at work. In case you haven't heard, Oklahoma has been hit by a blizzard and I haven't been the exception to the rule. I am stuck, at work. How terrible is that?

I have been trying to decide what to do. Should I risk it and hope that I can make it to my apt or should I just camp out here.

So here you have it, I am sitting at work on my first Christmas without my mom, and sadly I want to just sit and cry.





Here's a small glimpse, I can give you more later. Merry Christmas All!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Wordless Wednesday


I love this!

Sorry I've been MIA, Christmas stress is taking a lot outta me.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Tales of Key West

Well with life getting in the way, I haven't been able to share any stories of the Key's. So, even though it has been awhile I decided to share another story of my adventures in Florida.

So if you look the the right, you will see an interesting sign. Yes that's right folks Garden of Eden, the Clothing Optional Bar!
So did I go? Yes
This bar was rather interesting. It is a three story bar and each level got you a little bit closer to naked. The first floor was fully clothed. The second floor was topless, and the third floor was full out nakedness.
I managed to make it to every floor. During our trip we went twice to this bar. The first time we were all pretty drunk. The music was awesome and we saw an artist doing some amazing body painting. As the night went on and things drinks got stiffer and stiffer the people got wilder.
There were women that were completely naked from head-to-toe and there were men who thought they would strut around in little thongs. The body paint was flying and women were looking like everything from zebra's to English flower gardens.
So after we left, and I drunkenly texted my friends the pic of the sign everyone was begging to know if I got naked. I simply replied, "what do you think?"
So I'll leave it up to my readers, do you think I got naked, partially naked or anything else? I'll reveal my answer in part 2 of the naked bar.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Wordless Thursday?

A new Christmas favorite?

(Sorry I'm late on the post, spent most of the day in the ER yesterday. No worries, everything is fine.)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Ding Dong the Bitch is gone...

(excuse my French)

Sometimes you don't expect to have those Christmas wishes to come true. I wrote Santa a letter and it looks as though he came through for me earlier than usual. I can't complain right?

Well, as many of you may know I have had so many problems with a woman that my step dad got engaged to crazy fast after my mother's death. You can read one of the horror stories from the tales of b*tch here.

Well, like the title of this blog says, the b*tch is gone! You read it right folks, my SD told the woman to pack her bags and get the hell outta dodge.

Come to find out, she has been lying on a regular basis to him and everyone else. She also is really psychotic and a pathological liar, I have decided. She apparently was busted in lie after lie after and my SD couldn't take it anymore.

Yes, women can be crazy and they can do crazy things. Take it from me folks, we are nuts at times ... but I think this woman has fallen off her rocker more than a few times.

Would you like some of the gory details?

Apparently she went through his cell phone and every phone number that was attached to a woman's name she changed the number. Apparently she was so jealous that even his clients couldn't be reached.

She told him last month that her mother had died. Unfortunately, she forgot to tell her brother she had been kicked out and he called today. The brother was trying to find out how to get ahold of her because apparently her mother is in the hospital and it doesn't look good. I'm sorry, but don't lie to a grieving family about the death of a loved one, and most importantly don't lie about your loved one's death.

She downloaded over $50 worth of games on his cell phone than hid the bill from him. Who knew that if you hid bills they would just magically disappear? Hmmm, I think I lost my car payment.

She is "pregnant," and apparently has been for the last 6 months. Sure, she has put on a few pounds, but the woman defiantly isn't having a baby. My SD said she was putting on the pounds because he was feeding her well.

She supposedly has a masters in nursing. Here, she would be making about 6 figures with a degree like that. What woman in their right mind would leave that lifestyle without even owning a car?

Apparently her license in Oklahoma is suspended, but since she has a card from Texas it doesn't count. Since when is that allowed?

Her kid has leukemia. Yep, she is basically setting her son up for a death wish. I mean who lies about that?

So there you have it folks, tales of a psycho b*tch that got a boot to the ass.

Can I say that I am insanely relieved and am actually looking forward to Christmas now?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Mixed emotions run over me

Sometimes I wonder if I am a sucker for punishment, my heart's too big or if the world just needs more people like me.

Last night I found out that my step sister had been shot and surprisingly it brought tears to my eyes. Why is this a surprise? Well because my SS has been off my contact list for years now. She became mixed up with drugs at a young age and has never kicked the habit, in fact it has just gotten worse as time goes by.

She burned bridges with me after claiming to have cleaned up and then stealing from me. She has treated my family like crap time and time again and never thought twice about it. No one mattered too much to steal from. She lost her kids to DHS, and she even jumped bail. Basically, meth is running her life.

Well, on Sunday night apparently her life changed. The story I was told is that a drug dealer had a gun up to her waist (why, I dunno) and she squirmed to get away and he shot her. The shooter than dumped her off behind a trash can in hopes she would die. She managed to drag herself to the street for someone to see her and call 911.

The bullet went through her lung and shattered her T10 vertebrae. The doctors said she will more than likely never regain sensation in her legs and be paralyzed from the waist down the rest of her life.

I debated whether or not I should go to the hospital and see her. I eventually decided I should because I thought if she died tomorrow how would I feel? I knew I would feel terrible so today I went to see her. She looked terrible, and one of the first things she told me was she couldn't feel her legs.

It's a sad reality, but we all knew something like this was going to happen eventually. It's amazing how many times you can not care to ever see or talk to a person again and then boom, something happens and you're torn apart.

I guess I will continue to see her. She has a tough road ahead of her. If she decides to go back to her drug addict lifestyle, then my contact with her will be sparse once again.

Friday, December 4, 2009

In a great mood!

It's been awhile since I have been in a great mood. Sure I've had my happy moments, but typically it takes a lot to just be in a great mood. This past year and a half have given me a set of cards that I wish I could just fold, but unfortunately the dealer keeps giving me another.

But today, a huge burden has come off my shoulders.

Today my stepdad called and told me that he was going to meet with a woman to order my mom's headstone. A little bit later I got a call from my sister that made my dad. She said she talked to SD and said that he picked out a the headstone and has it ordered. She said that the news gets even better. I asked her what and she told me that he purchased a two headed headstone and that he purchased the plot next to her. She said that he is getting his name put on it.

So why is this such a relief?

Ever since we laid my mom to rest, my sister and I constantly felt like maybe we did the wrong thing. While we were going through the motions of getting the funeral taken care of we never thought of it. But, after the funeral our first thought was that our SD would get remarried eventually since he is still a young guy. We both felt like maybe we should have had my mother buried with her parents. I had this constant fear that she was going to be alone.

On November 22 (the day before what would have been her 43 birthday) we went to the cemetery as a family and brought her favorite yellow roses. We talked about a headstone and my SD said he wasn't going to be buried next to her or get a two headed stone. I'm not exactly sure what changed his mind, but I couldn't be happier. She was the love of his life and he hers, it's only right they lay together.

So what else does this mean? Well, I wonder how B*tch is going to take this. If you have no idea what I am talking about read my post here. Maybe she will be so furious that he made this decision she will just leave. One could only hope, right? I mean after all, she does get all pissy if you even mention the word mom (no matter if you are talking about my mom or someone elses).

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A little bit of the Key's

Well, I had typed out another great story from my trip, but my computer went psycho and froze. Joys of cheap products my office buys. Gotta love it. Anyways, since I am tired and don't really want type it out again, I decided to put a few pics from Key West on here. I have a ton more, but these are some I had on my phone. Enjoy!

This a view we had of the boat races. It took me forever to get one on camera, they were so fast. It may not sound like the most fun thing to watch, but it really was awesome.


These two pictures are from the southern most point of the U.S. The water was so beautiful, I should have jumped in.

Here is the sunset in the Keys. I thought this picture was beautiful. I took this while partially drunk on our "booze cruise." It's a wonder I didn't drop my phone in the water.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Happy Turkey Day?

So how was your Thanksgiving? Hopefully, a lot better than mine.

*serious blog alert*

I knew this year was going to be especially rough for me, not only was this the first year without my mom it was the second year without my grandma. Not to mention a ton of other family drama.

For the life of me, (and the fact that I am too lazy to look) I cant remember if I posted a blog about my stepdad's new lady. Just in case I haven't I will give you a quick rundown. My stepdad has moved another woman into the house and has supposedly proposed to her. I found all this out 3 or 4 months after my mother passed away. Apparently it is pretty common for men to freak out and do this. Many people have told me stories.

Well, this woman is ridiculous and in all honestly my sister and I cannot stand her. I have given her the name b*tch and rarely call her by her name outside of his presence. Every time my sister and I come around B goes and hides in the bedroom and doesn't come out. If she so happens to be out of the bedroom she doesn't even acknowledge our presence. Get an idea of how this woman is?

So anyways, on turkey day my SD said she wanted to cook us all dinner and we would have a nice family get together. My sis and I agreed (hesitantly) and made a few of our staple dishes. We showed up to get hugs from our SD and don't even a glance from B. Her daughter was there and neither one of us were given an introduction.

At dinner, she sat across from us and put one piece of turkey on her plate. That's it! Apparently she couldn't even stand sitting by us because at the beginning of dinner she got up and ran in the kitchen. She started slamming counters and drawers. Did I mention her food was terrible? Honestly, I have never eaten so little on turkey day. I literally at the things my sis and I brought. I had no clue that food could taste so bad when it's not even burnt.

My sis and I didn't offer to help clean up or anything. Typically we were the ones that did the cleaning, but I didn't feel compelled to help a woman that couldn't even acknowledge my presence. The whole time she was cleaning my sister and I talked about my mom and our memories of growing up, I know this made B really mad. She can't tolerate hearing anything about my mom without getting all pissy.

So yeah after we left the house, my sis and I parted ways to go get real food from our friends houses. Luckily, we have those friends that treat us like family and wanted to make sure we had a decent holiday.

All-in-all I am at a loss as to what to do. My sis and I really want to have a conversation with our SD, but not sure if that will do any good or not. He tends to take up for her no matter what she does.

I have also thought of asking her what her deal is. I have so many more stories I can tell about the B and will eventually get there. I am trying to play nice, but even my fuse will go out.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Have a Happy Turkey Day!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Meet drunk me

I have this crazy alter ego when I drink. I get very confident, I don't care about anything in the world and I love to have fun at any expense. Yep that's me, the sometimes annoying girl at the bar, but typically very well behaved. That is of course, unless I am on vacation.

I was debating on which Key West story I was going to begin with, but settled on my night out our first night there. After a four hour flight, four hours of driving from Ft. Lauderdale to Key West and no sleep a night out was in order. Upon checking into our hotel, we headed out to the local "strip" called Duvall Street. Apparently Duvall was the place to be if you were in search of night life in Key West. There were so many bars and even places to pick up a quick drink as you walk up and down the street.

Not sure what to do, we picked up some drinks and walked down this notorious street. We gazed at cute little shops and picked out some local bars we knew we just had to go into. After about 2 hours of walking we settled in a bar called The Lazy Gecko. This bar wasn't anything fancy, just a little local place that was playing amazing music. We walked to the bar and little did we know, it was ladies night! I love ladies night, and in all honesty it can get me into trouble.

I ordered my staple, Captain and Coke, and downed the first one with ease. Uh-oh, trouble is comin. I continued to drink them one after one and found myself with a great buzz. I started dancing with strangers and probably making a fool of myself. I held a conversation with some guy and can't honestly remember what we talked about. I told a girl all about Oklahoma and how we in fact did not live in tee-pee's or use buggies or transportation. But that is just the beginning.

*Ladies, jump on the bar and get a free shot*

Wow, all three of my friends were convinced that I needed to climb onto the bar. As if I wasn't buzzed enough, I apparently needed a free shot. So, I did. I hoped up on the bar (for the first time in my life) and danced my little heart out. I danced like no one was watching, but I did in fact know they were. I'm sure eventually I will be on their wall of pictures as being apart of the crowd of bar dancers.

I will say, I was probably the most reserved girl on the bar. There was of course the attention getters who thought that making out with one another was exactly what needed to be seen. Granted they tried to pull me in, but I was in my own little world. I didn't want to be THAT girl. And it's not like attention mattered, drinks were free for the ladies.

When the song was over I was so happy to jump fall off the bar and get my next drink. Needless to say, the walk back to the hotel room was very entertaining, especially since it was 5:30 a.m.

Monday, November 23, 2009

I swear I'm alive

Sorry I haven't written!

I had an amazing time in Key West! But, soon as I got back from my glorious vacation I came down with an insane sinus infection.

I was so sick that today was the first day I have been back to work. If you know anything about me, you know that I like to save my sick days for "personal health days." I really hate actually using them for being sick. So, it was no bueno the last week.

Even today I am not feeling 100 percent and could have honestly stayed home happily. Unfortunately I ran out of leave and had to make myself come back to work.

So there you have it, I have been insanely sick. I have been wanting to tell some of my amazing vacation stories but it has all been put on hold for the moment. Hopefully I feel better tomorrow and will be in the story telling mood.

I hope you all have been doing great and I miss you all!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Worldess Wednesday

I like dogs!

Talk to ya'll when I get back!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Leaving on a jet plane ...

... and I'll be back in a few days.

Well, I leave Thursday, but close enough. Yep folks, it is FINALLY time for my vacation. I thought it would never get here. I am so used to taking a trip in July, that waiting until November seemed like forever.

But, it is finally here and I will be heading to sunny Key West, Florida. I plan on sitting on the beach, maybe some para sailing, having some delicious fruity drinks and seeing the speed boat races. Sounds like fun, right?

So, that means I will not be here for awhile. I will leave you with a Wordless Wednesday tomorrow and you probably won't hear back from me until Tuesday or Wednesday. I hope ya'll enjoy the rest of your week, because I will mine.

Friday, November 6, 2009

I'm an airhead baby, so why don't you pop me

Have you ever had those moments where you feel like a complete moron? Those moments where you look someone blankly in the face and have no idea what you are doing, often called airhead moments?

Well, I had one of those yesterday.

I don't know if it is was because it was very early in the morning and I had very little sleep, or if it was because I was at the doctor but I completely lost it. Upon arrival I had this form to fill out, to update my information in their system. You know, it was the basic stuff like name, address, emergency contact, and phone number oh shit phone number.

I blanked.

Seriously, I completely forgot my own phone number. It's not like this was a brand new number, it's not like I just got it yesterday. In fact, I have had this number for years and years and I couldn't remember.

So what did I do?

I wrote down the first number I could think of. And what was it? It was a phone number my family had probably 7 years ago. Yep, I thought of a number from 7 years ago, but couldn't think of my own.

I didn't even realize what I had done until I handed the paper over to the receptionist and she asked me for a second number. Oh shit, another number I thought about it for a second and then, get this, I told her one of my first cell phone numbers. AHHHH!

Luckily, I saved myself and said wait no, that isn't a good one use this one, and gave her my correct number. Such a sly cover-up don't you think? At least she has one line she can reach me at.

So there you have it, my airhead moment of the week. And since I love hearing from my readers, I have to ask you ... what's one of your airhead moments?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Hands in the air, this is a stick up



Yesterday while sitting at work I received a text message that simply said "I was robbed today." Not only did the text say that, but it was from my sister. So, needless to say, the mom in me came out and I started calling her hysterically. Not one, not two, but three phone calls later she finally picked up.

I asked her what happened and she didn't seem the least bit scared, she was laughing. She told me that someone robbed the bank the she works at. She just happened to be the lucky teller. Apparently when he walked in she had this feeling that he was going to rob her. She said that she started praying in her head for him not to hurt her and for this not to happen.

Immediately upon reaching the counter the mad said something. My sister didn't understand him and asked what he said. Apparently that is when he pushed a note in her faced asking for the money. I asked her if she hit the emergency button, but apparently her bank doesn't have one. Their policy is to hand over the money and as soon as the robber leaves to call 911. So that's what she did. She handed him the money and he threw it in a Dollar General sack (he probably found it while walking to the bank).

After the man got the money he took off running. I can't believe that he didn't even have a get away car. So how much did he get away with? $2,400. Yep, that's it. Apparently the bank doesn't keep much in the their drawers. My sister told me if he would have robbed the teller next to her, he would have made off with much more because she hadn't cashed her drawer yet.

So all-in-all it is a scary situation and I am more than grateful that she was all right. I really hope that the man gets caught. But, my sis will forever more have an awesome story to tell.

*The pictures are surveillance photos from the bank. That is the back of my sister's head.

Wordless Wednesday

This is not cool!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! Have a safe and fun one!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Happy almost Halloween!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Ring, Ring, Ring

That's what I heard at 3 a.m. this morning. Surprisingly, I was still up. If you're new to this blog then you probably don't know that I work nights, so being up at 3 a.m. isn't really an insane thing for me.

I'm not going to lie, I debated on whether or not to pick up the phone. But, since I am a great friend I answered the call and was happy that I did. I'm sure most of us have had those nights where we drank too much and the thought of driving home isn't even an option. I know that I have made a call or two begging for someone to come and save me. Well, that is what happened last night.

Two of my friends called and apparently had a little too much to drink and begged for my rescuing. So what did I do? I hopped in the car and drove the 15 minutes or so to go pick them up. I picked them up and since they lived so close to me, I took them home. Of course, just dropping them off was not an option... I had to come in and socialize since I was their saving grace. We hung out, they forced me to play Gears of War 2 and we watched some of Twilight. Interesting huh?

Before we knew it, it was 6:30 a.m. and I was freaking out. I was soooo tired and needed to get home to catch at least a couple zzz's before work. So I said my good-byes and they thanked me about a million times.

So what's the moral of the story? I am that friend that will come to your saving grace if you need me. I told them I better be getting a good Christmas present. :)

Monday, October 26, 2009

Looking for parenting tips?

Just go and stand in a gas station parking lot, you'll learn tons of great parenting advice. OK, so that was complete sarcasm, and you should almost always never do the things that most parents do while at the gas station.

For example:

Today I was running into the store to get my caffeine fix before work. I frequent this gas station for the simple fact that it is right by my place. Unfortunately, not the most upstanding people also frequent this place. So what happened?

Well, I got out of my are and was approached by a young girl, probably 10 or so. She asked me if I had a cigarette that I could give her mom. After giving her I'm sure a dumbfounded look, I proceeded to tell her that I did not smoke and therefore could not give her mom a cigarette.

Soon as I walked in the woman behind the counter of the gas station asked me if that girl was pestering me. I told her that she asked me if I had a cigarette to give her mom. I guess the woman was rather unhappy because she got on this tangent about how ridiculous it is to use a kid to do those things. She said that she was a mother herself, and couldn't imagine that. I told her that I couldn't imagine letting a 10-year-old run around a busy gas station parking lot. The poor kid could have been hit, or much worse stolen.

We both agreed and she proceeded to tell me that the woman had her kid outside all weekend asking people for various things. A few seconds later the mom came strolling in with a few quarters or something. The gas station attendant refused to sell anything to her. I was shocked! The woman began to yell and cuss at her. The attendant told the woman that loitering is not permitted and that if she did not leave and came back again that she would call the police.

Here I was standing in the middle of two women arguing. I was close to freaking out, I didn't feel like being pulled into a fight. So I left my change on the counter and told the attendant to have a good day. It will be interesting to see if the woman brings her kid out to do her dirty work again.

After seeing all this happen I just couldn't believe some of the things people make their kids do. It is really sad and makes you wish that those people couldn't have kids. While kids need discipline and structure they do not need to be out peddling money out of complete strangers.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Can I punch you please?

I have never wanted to punch an old man before, but this week may have brought the worst out in me. I'm not sure if he is on some sort of false power trip, but he is a co-worker to me, not my boss and he has pushed me past my patience level. Thank God we have a weekend coming up, or I could probably find myself fired. Sad thing is, I had a four day work week after requesting Monday off... maybe he is just jealous.

It all started Tuesday when he walked by me and apparently heard music coming from my headphones. He proceeded to tell me that I should turn that down because I am annoying people. Well first, the only reason he heard my headphones was because the weren't in my ears and he was leaning over my shoulder. Second, I don't sit next to anyone that works the hours I do. The 3 cubicles next to me were empty. So what was my response? I turned them louder. I hope he heard them at his.

Wednesday, he became the clock watcher. I walked in 10 minutes late (after staying 15 minutes late yesterday) and he had the nerve to ask me if I had "overslept or something." I told him no, but I came in later to avoid having to write down overtime. Well, last night I ended up having to stay 30 minutes late. I wanted to tell him to bite me.

On Thursday, he decided to nitpick everything I did. Because we are so short handed I often find myself picking up more work than the people's job I do already. I find this happening more and more as the days go by. Well, yesterday I had to help do some copy editing (which I loathe). It was so last minute, we were pushing the clock to hit deadline. Apparently I missed a few things as I quickly skimmed the stuff to make sure we weren't writing curse words in the copy. Well, after deadline he apparently copy and pasted everything I missed in an e-mail and sent it to me. Is this necessary? Don't get me wrong, everyone makes mistakes, but when we are so close to deadline I don't feel this is necessary.

He also nitpicked my e-mails and corrected the fact that I didn't capitalize everything. Seriously???

I seriously hope today goes better and that he doesn't continue to push my buttons the way he has all week. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I am a crazy hard worker that tends to become the "work horse." Maybe I should slack like everyone else?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I'm addicted

I think I have a problem, and they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

What's my problem? Freebies! I find myself looking at different sites every day that offer free samples, free trials and even awesome coupons (I should find more coupons). I sign up for samples almost on a daily basis from shampoo samples all the way to a free silver spoon. Yes, I signed up for a free spoon.

I don't really know how it started, I just remember hearing one day on the radio about this woman called the consumerqueen. She makes a weekly appearance on a station for her "Deals of the Week." It just so happens that she announced something (I can't remember what) that I thought at the time I totally needed. So I went to her blog and signed-up so I could partake in the freebie.

It's all down hill from there. From that day on I have found myself consistently looking at her forums for free stuff that other members post. I have found a few "freebie" web sites that I regularly visit. Don't get me wrong, I have received some really neat stuff but I almost feel as though it is an addiction. I can't seem to help it with the current state of the economy. I guess my opinion is hey, free is awesome I might as well get it while I can.

Now don't get me wrong, I've always been a bargain hunter. I try to shop when things are on sale and I always look for coupons for any online purchase. I try to be as "thrifty" as possible. Maybe I learned that while being a poor college student, life was easier that way.

So I have to ask, do you have a similar (if not the same) addiction? If so, what are some of your favorite sites for amazing deals?

EDIT
Per request, here are some of the sites I visit:

Consumer Queen (you have to sign-up to find her freebies in the forum)
Shop4Freebies
P&G Everyday Solutions
Walmart Freebies
Amazing Freebies

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

In honor of Halloween, we have a jailed pumpkin!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Wii Fit Plus ...

... beat me up.

After Nintendo announced that it was producing a new Wii Fit, I found myself very jealous. I had purchased the regular Wii Fit late January and couldn't believe a new one was coming out so soon after. Well, over the weekend I had a brilliant idea. I returned my first one and then bought the new one.

How? Well I had never opened the first one. Crazy huh? I know that sounds really terrible, but after my mom died my whole workout routine took a turn for the worst. I had no desire to do anything, so my poor Wii Fit sat in it's box on my dining room table.

After getting the new Wii Fit Plus, I was so excited to play it. Unfortunately I had to go and see Zombieland first. By the way, that movie is totally awesome and everyone should see it. Well I got home about 12:30 a.m. and decided now's the time to play Wii.

I sat it all up and began to play. It was so much fun, I couldn't believe how many calories I actually burned. But, apparently my downstairs neighbor didn't enjoy me running in place at 1:30 a.m. and he started banging on my ceiling. I totally felt like I was in an episode of Friends for a minute. I knew I would have to put my fun on hold after that one.

The next day I decided to play again. I spent quite a bit of time on the silly board. I did every strength exercise they offer, some aerobics and even a few other games. It was so much fun a time flew by.

But here we are on Tuesday and I can feel the pain of the workout. How sad is that? My arms are sore, my abs are sore and even my calves are sore. I forgot what it feels like when the muscles burn. It feels great!

So, I will keep up my Wii Fit challenge and plan on starting to hit the gym again. You'd be surprised how out of shape you get just from taking a few months off. I know I am pretty rusty.

Question:

If anyone has a Wii Fit have you found that it helps? Have you found any other games that are fun?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Mod Podge mess

Why is this called a mod podge mess?

Because right now my brain is thinking all million things that are all timely and need to be combined into one post. I mean, I guess I could post individual posts... but then you might miss something and we can't have that.

First on the list is the Cheese Festival.

I know a few of you had asked me about the cheese festival and unfortunately I have sad news to report. It was a bust! I drove an hour and a half to be surrounded by small town lovin and yellow cheesy goodness. Wrong!




There wasn't a human running around with a mouse head, there was no magician doing crowd pleasing tricks. So what was there you ask? There was a line that offered free samples of cheese. There you have it folks, I drove an hour and a half to stand in line for free cheese samples. I should have just went Sams Club, it's like next door to my apartment.

Oh, and it was a drizzly cold mess. It was so cold my feet were freezing. So in the end it sucked, but I have faith that it was a whole lot more fun the day before. I blame myself for waiting till the last minute to attend. Maybe next year or maybe not?

Second: Did you see balloon boy?

I mean seriously? Was this some sort of publicity stunt by his "Wife Swap" parents? I honestly feel for the kid. Don't get me wrong I was one of those idiots that watched and worried for the kids safety, but I think now is the time to worry about him. I won't lie, if it was my kid the belt would be coming out ... for days.

Third: Looks like a trip to Vegas is in order!

I know I will be headed to Key West in a few short weeks, but now's the time to start planning my trip to Vegas. In case of you are country fans, the man Garth Brooks is coming out of retirement. I am so excited!

I am not one of those crazy country fans, but I listen to it occasionally. But I will say I am a huge HUGE huge Garth fan. I literally cried the day he said he was going into retirement, mainly because I had never seen him live. So, if you're a country fan be prepared.... He's Back!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

I love how there is a drawing of a finger in the pigeons mouth.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Creepy e-mail

OK, so after a rather interesting weekend that may or may not have involved going to a small town cheese festival, I returned to work to something kind of creepy.

I often get spam work mail, that is just part of the world of journalism. My company e-mail is posted in more places that I can imagine I'm sure. Pretty sad, but it's probably true. Anyways, I typically get e-mails that say something about "You just won a million dollars," "Free Mercedes coming from Iran," "Please come to my art show," "Would you like to advertise with us for free," and the list goes on and on.

But, for the first time in 3 years I received an e-mail like none other. Here is what it said:

how are you doing?
i hope you are fine,my name is Mary,please don,t be suprise to receive my message, when sarching througth ( insert company web site) i came accros your contact,because i believe one can find a very good caring,understanding and God fearing person anywhere in the world,i hope to hear from you so that i wil tell you more about my self with love and trust, and i will give you my pics thanks Mary

How creepy is that?

In other I'm a terrible blogger news:

The fabulous Moonjava over at Moonjava's Muse gave me an awesome award! I am so excited! If you haven't ever read her blog you should, she's great.



Rules for this award!

1) If you have a blog, post it on your blog with a link back to the site who gave it to you;

2) Leave them a comment on their site, email, etc. to let them know;

3) If you don't have a blog but have a website, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or other type account, post there with a link back; and

4) Pass this on to 3-10 loyal fans.

I'm passing this onto:

1) Anais @ Through Green Eyes

2) Lil' Woman @ Lil' Woman, Lil' Home

3) Tamela @ A Brunette Making It One Day At A Time

4) Kristen @ Happily Ever After

5) Wendy @ Wendy's Adventures in LaLaLand

Thursday, October 8, 2009

It's like Russian Roulette

There are two vending machines in my office that I swear it's like playing Russian Roulette. And yes, I am actually writing a blog about vending machines. So yeah, these two vending machines can either drive you absolutely crazy or they excite you from the possibility of getting something random.

They are both soda machines, so that right there means you never know. The Pepsi machine isn't really all that exciting, but there is still the thrill of the game. Time after time I have put money into the machine waiting for my delicious diet mountain dew and SURPRISE I get a Pepsi. I mean OK I like a lil Pepsi sometimes, but usually when I'm heading for that machine I'm in need of an instant caffeine high from mountain dew, that doesn't happen so much with Pepsi.

The other machine is where the fun is. See it is a Dr. Pepper machine, and that is my true addiction. I often go to the machine and think really hard about whether I want a diet Dr. Pepper, a coke zero or a delicious Dasani water. 9 times out of 10 I go with the diet Dr. Pepper. Not only do you really never know what kind of beverage you are going to get, there is an added strategy to this game ... will you get 1, will you get 3 or will you get screwed none.

It's kind of sad that trips to the vending machine for a caffinated beverage can brighten my day.

Random side note:

I'm considering buying a boat. We are still having a ton of rain and I keep thinking that maybe I should get a boat instead of waiting for my car to wash away. Today I literally was drenched just from the walk to my car from my apartment. Everyone in my office found it quit comical, I in turn sat here freezing.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Pole dancing gone bad ...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Why Men Are Happier People

THis was sent to me in an email and I knew I had to share it with the blogosphere. Hope you find it as accurate as I did.

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

  • Your last name stays put.
  • The garage is all yours.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • Chocolate is just another snack.
  • You can be President.
  • You can never be pregnant.
  • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  • The world is your urinal.
  • You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
  • You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • Wedding dress-$5000. Tux rental-$100.
  • People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
  • New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  • One mood all the time!
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • You know stuff about tanks.
  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • You can open all your own jars.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  • Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You almost never have strap problems in public.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  • Everything on your face stays its original color.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • You only have to shave your face and neck.
  • You can play with toys all your life.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
  • You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  • You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Weekend plans in Oklahoma?

My friend L and I had an intense discussion today about what our plans for the weekend are. Here is a clip of the best part.

L: Hey we could go sit outside the zoo ampitheater on Sunday and listen to chicken fry guy. (Zac Brown Band)
Me: Hahaha now that would be funny.
L: Cheap and redneck...
Me: We just need to bring recliners and a cooler.
L: Don't forget the rusted pickup.
Me: And a toilet seat.
L: Nah, we're high class rednecks.

Oh the plans we make while working.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Seeing red

Have you ever been so mad you're seeing red?

I am at that stage right now, and have been since yesterday. Why you ask?

Well here is when anonymity comes in handy. I am so pissed about my job right now that in all honestly if I could survive on a Taco Bell salary I would have submitted my resignation yesterday. Crazy, huh?

Last week I was approached by "the boss" about upcoming changes in the company. Now with the recession and layoffs I understand that you must be flexible in order to keep your job. In all honesty, I have been extremely flexible. I have changed my job description, I have taken on a ton more work and I have changed my schedule.

Apparently that isn't good enough.

I was confronted and told to give my best argument about why things should stay the way they are currently. I gave some reasons about my workload, my prior flexibility and most importantly lastly my personal life. I told the boss I have submitted to every request possible, but there were some things I don't think would be fair to me.

Where did that get me? NOWHERE!

Last night I found out that not only was my schedule changed (and the worst possible change it could be) but also that I will be taking on even more work than before. I already work my fingers to the bone, but that isn't good enough. My coworker found out the same thing, and what did she do? She put in her notice of resignation.

The "boss" just wanted to use her newly found power against me and take control. There is no need for my work life to change, whatever happened to that old say ... "don't fix it if it isn't broke?" That doesn't apply at my job. We keep fixing and fixing and fixing and people will continue to quit.

So where does this leave me? It leaves me with a terrible schedule that in all honestly if knew it was going to come to this I wouldn't have taken the job in the first place and it leaves me without my coworker. Yay, I also get to do her work too.

Sorry that this blog is just a big bitch session, but in all honesty I am so furious right now. I was up until 4am this morning searching and applying for new jobs in hopes that I can screw them just like they've screwed me.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

... we've been struck

Break out the medical masks folks, we've been contaminated.

Upon coming into the office the other day we all got a great surprise, tons of giant bottles of sanitizer. Why you ask?

BECAUSE SWINE FLU HAS HIT THE BUILDING!

Sorry for the over dramatic yelling that just happened there. So yeah, now I get to come to the office every day in hopes if dodging the pig flu. There are literally 10 bottles of sanitizer within 10 feet of my desk and posters all over saying how to protect yourself.

Seriously, these posters are ridiculous. I'll briefly summarize them.

Step 1. Wash your hands, especially after going to the bathroom.
Step 2. Sneeze or cough into a tissue instead of your hand.
Step 3. Use sanitizer.
Step 4. If you are running a fever or have the chills see a doctor immediately.
Step 5. Take your daily vitamins.

OK, that's not all of them but you have to understand where I am going with this. How many people don't know that they should do this stuff? Especially during an epidemic of the pig flu.

I will say on a sadder note that a teenager in Oklahoma died today from the virus. So even though I make light of this sickness, please get your flu shots and stay as healthy as possible.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Well, the important thing is that while this person is donating orgasms or taking d*ck breaks they are also looking out for the safety of those on motorcycles.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Shameless promotion


create & buy custom products at Zazzle

OK, so I've been working on a t-shirt venture. A friend and I are design tee's and selling them. While I know I am doing some crazy self promotion, I thought you guys might enjoy them.

There isn't a lot of designs up there at the moment, but we are working our little fingers to the bone to get more. We are also taking custom design orders. Just go to the store site and send us a message and we will get back with you as soon as possible.

While we just have tee's (and one dog shirt) on the site we do have the ability to do just about anything on there. Looking for business cards, fliers, letterhead? We can make it all.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Modern day Noah?

Here in Oklahoma I am beginning to wonder whether or not I need to build purchase my very own ark. I'm seriously thinking about running down to the zoo and making sure we have males and females of all the animals. Maybe I should start stocking up on can goods and bottled water?

For the past two weeks it has been nothing but gray skies in Oklahoma. We will have an hour or two of actual rain every day, but then when it stops we are left with that humidity filled air and the rain that just feels like someone is constantly spitting on you.

Normally, I love a great rain or even a crazy thunderstorm but I am just over all this. My car is filthy from grass sticking to my shoes and driving through puddles, I get up every morning and try to go back to sleep since there is no sun, and most importantly my hair stays flat. Woo hoo!

So here I sit in my cave cubicle with the skies partially dark praying for sunshine.

I hope you all have an amazing weekend!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Shoplifting, seriously

There comes a time in every one's life where you decided whether not not shoplifting is bad. For most people, it is at a very young age when you stick that piece of candy in your pocket that mom or dad said you couldn't have. Then, once you're busted eating it in the car on the way home you have to do the walk of shame into the store and tell the manager you stole it.

After all that, you get the lecture all the way home about how terrible stealing is and that you will have timeout when you get home. Yeah, there are those who do it a few times before it is ingrained in their head, but then there are those that never learn.

So where is this all going?

Well last week I went to the mall to pick up some new makeup and as I was walking to my car I saw something really strange. A person was reversing out of a parking spot when a man walked up to the car and tapped on the window. The driver doesn't do anything, and the man yells that he is security and she needs to roll her window down.

She rolls her window down and I hear the man ask her if she took anything out of the store. I guess she said she didn't and the man asks "what's that" as he pointed to her passenger seat. As I walk by I hear her say "that's my purse." He asks her to hand it to him and it still has the tag on it and it's from the store she apparently dashed out of. He then makes her park and she does the walk of shame back into the store.

I couldn't help but laugh about this. I mean I know people steal, and I do not condone stealing, but if you are going to do it then be smart about it. First, don't stop for a man knocking on your window, second don't put your stolen goods in the passenger seat for possible security guards to see and most importantly try to go into the mall to blend in, don't go outside where you're more than likely alone.

So yes, I just gave you my tips on proper shoplifting, I hope none of you use them.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Wordless Wednesday



Boating on the lake

(This boat was so awesome, I want one. We got up to 90 mph and I shoulda thrown my hands up also. My friend took this pic of us. Fun times!)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Wordless Wednesday


It's that time again ...

Monday, August 31, 2009

Over the weekend

Well, I have a bit of good news and bad news. So, since I typically pick the bad news first, I'll tell ya that.


Bad news: This is going go be another crazy week, another short post and as soon as I started feeling better I got sick again. So here I am sitting at work feeling like hell. I really really despise being sick during the summer.


Good news: I got a new car!


It's an '08 Pontiac G6.

(It was love at first drive)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Here's to getting my ducks in a row!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Pot luck post

Blogosphere friends, I am so sorry to have been gone. My work schedule has been absolutely insane here lately. Like I said in my short post, I didn't know that work actually required working all day. I mean, I typically have time to check my email, read some blogs and even post. Well not recently, my coworker was sick and since the economy has drained my office I got to pick up her job and do both. Talk about fun.

So anyways, I am crossing my fingers that I am back (at least for awhile). Instead of doing a traditional post, I decided I would just post some random stuff about the last week in one bit pot luck post.

  • I rode a bicycle for the first time in probably 15 years. I loved it! I basically stole my friends road bike. I decided I am going to get one, but all the ones on craigslist are either old and crappy or way too much. So if anyone would like to contribute to the Trixie Bicycle Fund, email me at swooningthecity@gmail.com. :)
  • My dog has decided that using the designated "poopy areas" are not to her liking, probably because people aren't cleaning up after themselves. The last few times when I've walked her we have stopped at the designated area and wait, and wait and wait. I get impatient and I'm not kidding you about 10 feet later she decides she needs to go. This is not good, and yes sorry it is so random and kind of gross.
  • I've been having late night rendezvous. Last weekend my friend and I decided to drive around the city looking for walking/biking tracks. We found a few and, without flashlights, walked them in the dark. It was really fun getting out and walking.
  • During our walking trips we found a group of pot heads smoking in the park. It was so funny because when they saw us one took off running and the others tried to play it cool. I was so tempted to yell, "Police, don't move." Unfortunately I didn't have time because they ran from their smoke cloud into the truck parked by.
  • I decided I am a loyal fan of Google, there is no changing my mind. At work the default search engine is Bing and I tried using it twice. I hate it. It never seems to give me the results that Google does so I have made public my love for Google.
  • I watched "I Love You Man" and thought it was totally awesome. I did think that the relationship the guys had was a little awkward though. Do those kind of things exist?
  • I've been sick. I have no idea what happened, but I lost my voice almost completely for about a week. While I am sure that some of my coworkers enjoyed my lack of talking, I sure didn't. I am feeling better now, but still have a slight cough. I think my allergies just decided to go crazy on me.
  • I am about to commit myself to a masters program. I graduated in 2006 from college and since then have said time and again that I would start my next degree program. Unfortunately I have been seriously lazy and haven't done so. Well, I started doing some research and think I have finally decided that I am going to get my MBA in Organizational Leadership. Now, to just get to filling out the enrollment application and write my essays.
Well, I hope you all have had a great week. I feel a bit out of the loop since I have disappeared.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

MIA

Sorry I have been MIA once again guys. Who would have ever thought that you sometimes actually have to do work at work? Here I was under the impression that I should be able to blog and check my email while doing work, but that hasn't been the case here lately. Things have been a little bit insane, but I promise I won't be gone much longer (at least I hope).

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wordless Wednesday



Because even though this came out a lil while ago, I am truly excited to see it!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Epic giveaway

The lovely Kym is hosting an epic giveaway .

She is giving away handmade stuff from other bloggers, so if you like that kinda stuff visit her blog and let her know. If you don't, you should really check out her blog anyways because she is hilarious.

Sorry, but no

I don't know if it is just me or what, but have any of you noticed the amount of beggars going up? I know the economy has been bad and everyone can use any dime they can get, but honestly I have seen two or three people on one corner begging for money. At least spread out a bit, oh and don't wear brand new Nike's and a Ralph Lauren shirt while you hold your cardboard sign. But that isn't the worst of it, I can't even go into the gas station without someone asking me for money.

Now don't get me wrong I am not one of those greedy girls that won't help a fellow man in need, but I won't just hand out a ton of cash to complete strangers when I'm money-strapped myself. Instead, I'd much rather go pick up a double cheeseburger or two and hand a person in need that or some fruit instead of a bunch of money for them to pocket. I have reason behind this thought.

Today as I walked out of the gas station after getting my oh so delicious diet dr. pepper I was approached by a woman with a long sob story. She told me that she was from Ohio and was trying to get to her grandmother in Texas because she was admitted to the hospital. She said she ran out of gas and had no way to get there because someone stole her wallet and her bank wasn't in Oklahoma. Sounds depressing right?

Well I couldn't help but make a smart ass smirk and laugh a little. The woman acted as though she was offended by my laughter. It does make me look cold-hearted doesn't it? I then proceeded to tell her that just last week she told me the same exact story and asked me for money for her ailing grandma.

She began to argue with me saying that it was not her and I was confusing her with someone else. I told her I distinctly remember the smiley face shirt that she is wearing today and the same exact story. I told her that I gave her $5 dollars for gas and that since she is still sitting here scamming people that she should give me my money back. She took off running.

It's those people that make the world a terrible place and more so the reason why people refuse to help others. If you are a need then be honest, but don't expect someone to hand over money so that you can get your next drug fix.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Hiking in the dark?

There are times in your life that you make stupid decisions. Well, I managed to do that during one of my hiking trips.

Over the weekend K and I decided it would be a great weekend to go on a hike. After weeks and weeks of 106 degree weather it was finally down in the 90's, which seemed like the 80's compared to that.

So we hoped in the car, took a drive and ended up in a little town called Watonga. There is a big pond lake there and some nice hiking trails.



We got there late in the afternoon, and decided to explore. After circling the pond lake we found some trails and decided it wouldn't be a big deal to take a small hike. We hop on the trails and come up to a map. We see this location called "Inspiration Point" and feel as though we should go get some inspiration.


We take a look at the route and head on our way. Little did we know that this was going to be a long hike. The map didn't give distances and believe me maps can be deceiving. As we are hiking we are having a great time cracking jokes and checking out the scenery. The woody areas were gorgeous and the trails were a ton of fun. After about 4 miles, a little over an hour and climbing up a few hills we find "Inspiration Point."




See the sun setting? We thought it would be a great idea to see a bit of the sunset and hoped to gain some inspiration. It was a fabulous idea, until we look at the map and realize there was no short cut back to the beginning of the trail like we thought. No, instead we have to hike the entire 4 miles or so back the way came. I felt cheated. Here is our last view of the spot as the sun was going down.



So why was this a big deal? No, it wasn't because of the extra exercise it was because the sun was setting, most of the trail was through the woods and we didn't have a flashlight. We also didn't have cell phone signal (not that we could tell anyone where we were because we really didn't know ourselves), and the light from our phones didn't do much good.

Once we came to this conclusion we decided to walk as fast as we could down the rocks of the hills before the sun disappeared. At least we wouldn't have to go down large rocky hills in the dark. As we made it down the hill the sun was still peaking through and we entered the woods. The only protection we had was a stick that K picked up on the way down the hill.

It was a lot darker in the woods as we tried to keep our eyes on the dirt trail. A little ways in we then heard something no hiker ever wants to hear day or night ... coyotes. Not just one, but it was few hollowing and causing a commotion. At this point we are almost running through the woods, but can only go so fast due to roots, rocks and other things on the trail.


As we get farther into the woods it sounds like the coyotes are getting closer and we are both freaking out at this point. Then, we suddenly hear something move in the woods next to us. We both stop and try our best to see the impossible. Instead of standing there for too long we took off faster than before. My heart was racing at this point and then we finally made it to the edge of the woods. The light was barely peaking through and we can no longer see the trail.


We follow what seems to be the trail and found the white rocky area that we could actually somewhat see. The sun is almost gone at this point and I step off a giant rock and hurt my ankle. I'm now somewhat limping and suddenly realize we were lost.


So here we are in the wildlife, listening as the coyotes get closer and lost. We start to back track and eventually find the first trail we took. We finally made it to the beginning just short of a heart attack. By the time we got there it was pitch black and all the campers were snuggling in their tents. Our trip to "Inspiration Point" took us a little over an hour, our trip back took us just over 30 minutes.

I guess the inspiration we were seeking was to make it back to the beginning without dying.


From this hiking trip on I decided I will never hike without a flashlight again. I don't care if we start at 10 a.m., a flashlight will be with me.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Bye bye bottle?


I had planned today to share some of my outdoorsy adventures, but instead I am posting something else that I find to be a bit disturbing.

As I was listening to a local morning radio show, I heard them mention something about breast feeding. No big deal right? Well after a few seconds I started paying attention and heard that it wasn't just a general topic, but instead it was about a new toy.

Apparently a Spanish toymaker took reality a little too far and created a new doll that allows a child to imitate breast feeding. There is a halter top that children put on in order to breast feed their baby as it makes sucking noises.

Since when are children not content with bottles?

Read about it here.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Speechless

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

No, I'm not missing ...

So you can call back your search parties, I have been found. :)

Sorry I was gone so long, my weekend adventure ended up making me an outdoors woman that went from just the lakes to a ton of hiking. I will say, it was nice getting away from the normal work life, the Internet and dare I say it ... the cell phone.

Now I am a girl that feels naked without my phone so when I ended up in the woods several times throughout my journeys and realized I had no signal, I just decided to ditch it. It felt invigorating to say the least. I never really realized how much I was at the beckon call of my cell phone. Weird huh?

So anyways, I have plenty of stories to share during my crazy adventure, but today i am going to answer the two questions asked of my readers (since I'm a slacker.)

Question One - Andhari over at Insomniac Lolita asked me the following question:

If you could trade place with one of the celebrities in the world who would you choose and why?

Answer: I would trade places with Vanessa Paradis, the French actress and singer. Why? Well because this lucky lady is not only gorgeous but she is married to Johnny Depp.

For the longest time I thought that I would somehow run into Johnny Depp, he would be smitten by my gorgeous eyes and then want me to have his babies. Then the rest would be history.

Unfortunately, he is now married to Vanessa and I have lost my chance until they divorce. So, I would love to swap places with her so not only could I live a life or luxury, I could also cuddle up to Mr. Johnny Depp.

Question Two - Lil' Woman over at Little Woman Little Home asked me the following question:

What made you start blogging? Is there a reason you choose to stay anonymous?

Answer: The lovely ReRe persuaded me to make a blog after she did. She made hers and became an instant hit and I thought it sounded like a great idea. So I jumped on the bandwagon and made one.

I blogged for a bit and soon realized a few people in my office were reading my blog. I wrote a post about a co-worker that was driving me absolutely made one night at work, and also wrote a post about hunting for a suga daddy one night at a bar full of old rich men. Apparently the co-worker I complained about felt inclined to apologize and another co-worker asked me how my hunt was. This was not good.

I started with the pretense that I could write about anything and expression my thoughts and feelings how I wanted to (even if it entailed bitching about work). I realized that this wouldn't be possible since several of my co-workers were reading my blog and soon created another one. This is that blog and why I am now anonymous. In the future I may change that, but for now in this office I feel like I should remain that way.

So those are the answers to the only two questions I was asked. I figure my readers would want to know something, so please feel free to continue asking me questions.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Out of town

Just wanted to let ya'll know that I am heading out of town for a weekend at the lake today. I am super excited to soak up some sun and play in the water. I hope ya'll don't miss me too much.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wordless Wednesday


My zoo peepshow!!!
Read the story here

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Burrito Boy part 2

So, did I call?

Actually I didn't. He called me the following day and I hadn't saved his number so when I answered I was a bit confused as to who was calling me. Did I let you all down? Haha.

When BB called we talked a little bit and he asked me out on a date during the upcoming weekend. I agreed, thinking what's the worst thing that could happen?

On date day he picked me up and said he was taking me to this place where they had amazing food. He wouldn't tell me the name, but during the drive I noticed that we were going into a part of town that wasn't so safe. I asked him if he lived over here and he said "oh no, this place isn't the safest."

After a few minutes we pulled up to this diner looking place. While I'm not high maintenance, I wouldn't recommend this place for a first date. I mean not only is the location bad, but seriously it had tables with those metal folding chairs. I have eaten at several "dives" and sometimes they are great so I gave it a shot.

I ordered just a burger and fries thinking that would be a bit difficult to screw up. It wasn't, my bread was soggy and they gave me mayo (which I hate.) While at "dinner" our conversation was good when I wasn't focusing on the grossness of my meal. He mentioned going to a free concert that a local casino was hosting. I had never heard of the band, was game to get out of the ghetto.

At the concert it was looking pretty cloudy and we weren't sure if it was going to rain or not. The local band wasn't too bad, but nothing to brag about. About what I assume was half way through the show it starts to pour down rain and we end up soaked. I thought it was pretty funny, but I guess he was pretty upset.

So how did the date end? Well we went to Walmart because he wanted to by a new dvd player he saw in sale. Talk about exciting.

Needless to say I never went out with BB again, but the funny thing is he has become one of my dearest friends. I am also coaching him on dating skills, because I'm not high maintenance but this date wasn't the greatest way to start things off.

Friday, July 17, 2009

A sly burrito boy ...

Meet Burrito Boy, a charming young man who makes me burritos during a long day at work who apparently has had his eye on me for awhile. I never really paid much attention to him, I usually just got my burrito and then was on my way out the door.

And then one day I noticed. I had just got back from a long weekend at the lake and decided I could use an awesome chicken burrito. I walked in looking half tired and holding a conversation via text with my friend.

I ordered my chicken burrito and BB started giving me a hard time. He kept saying that I should have got this salsa instead and pestering me about why I don't like beans.

As I was getting ready to pay for my food and finishing up a text with my friend BB asked me what kind of phone I was using. Delighted, I showed him my phone and he asked if he could hold it.

I handed him my phone because it wasn't like he was going to run off with it, I mean the guy was at work. He held it and explained to me that He was wanting the same phone. He asked if I liked it as he started to play with it. I told him I loved it and then he handed me my phone back.

As I walked to my car I received another text from my friend, but happened to notice a message in my outbox. The message was to a number not in my phone book and simply said.... you should call me (insert phone number here) -BB

Did I call him? I'll save that for another post.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wordless Wednesday


Look Dad, we found kittens!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Handicap parking?

Just when I begin to think the people that work at my apartment complex are at least a little bit intelligent they go and do something that proves me wrong.

Last night when I was desperately searching for a parking spot that wasn't a mile away from my apartment I pulled into an empty spot. This one spot was crowded by several others and I wondered why it was left open.

So, I looked up and realized at that very moment why that parking spot was indeed left open.... a handicap sign. Now this spot has been a spot I have parked in several times and it was never labeled handicap.

You're probably thinking that adding a handicap spot couldn't possibly be a bad thing right? Well, this spot isn't bad... just in a completely dumb location.

Now I know that not all handicap people are in a wheelchair, but I'd like to think handicap spots are there to cater to those who are. This spot goes completely against the opposite. This spot does not have a ramp, its not any wider than a normal parking spot and if that wasn't enough ... the spot doesn't even connect to a sidewalk.

I can't help but ask myself what handicap human-being would even think this would be a great place to park. My mother had a ton of back problems and she had a handicap placard and I know that if she came over she wouldn't dare park in that spot.

So, like I said... my apartment complex once again proved to me that monkey's can run a business.

Side note:

I am jumping on the bandwagon and offering readers a chance to ask me something they want to know (that's not too personal). If you'd like to ask me a question feel free to leave a comment or email me at swooningthecity@gmail.com

Monday, July 13, 2009

A walk in the zoo

Even though it was Sunday and the high temperature was 104 with a heat index of about 106, I woke up at 7am and go ready to head to the Zoo. Now I am not by any means a morning person, partly because I work late evenings and also because I just haven't ever been, so me being up without a huge Starbucks caffeine injected beverage and no serious appointment was a big deal (especially on a day that it was going to be hotter than hell).

The grand plan was that we would get there at 9am when they opened to enjoy as much of the zoo as possible before our skin started to melt from the rays of the heat. We made it about 9:30 am and started the trip out with looking at the ducks (one of my favorite animals).

As the day went on and the heat started to rise we eventually found our way to the grizzly bears, which by far was the funniest animal we saw that day. Why you ask?

Well, when we walked into the building we saw two grizzly bears. They were both sleeping, one was in a hole and the other one was laying against the glass. What's so funny? Well as soon as you walked around the the corner to see them you notice that the male is spread eagle... foot on the glass and all, it would almost seem like an Al Bundy moment if he had his hand on his crouch. Not exactly what you were expecting when you walk around the corner. I can hear the kids now, "mommy what is that?"

After getting the peep show, he then decided to roll over and change positions. It seemed like he couldn't get comfortable because he just kept moving around. Eventually another group of about 4 people came walking in to see him. The best part of the whole thing was, as soon as they were about to take a picture of him, he decided to put on a show. He rolled over onto his back again and then went spread eagle. Talk about a Kodak moment.

Even though the sun was beating down on us and I was sweating to death I had a great time. I probably drank a gallon of water which is always a good thing. I don't think I have ever seen as many animals in one trip as I did Sunday. They always seem to be hiding or put away. It was great.

Who would have known that going to the zoo early in the morning was the best? The animals were all active and happy as opposed to late evening when they just hide in any place of shade they can find.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Kids say it best

Over the weekend I celebrated my birthday with my family. If you didn't know I have two younger siblings that are almost 9 and 7. Strange right? Oh well, I love them dearly and pretty much spoil them rotten.

So why am I posting about them? Well because kids say some hilarious stuff and I wanted to share some highlights.

Convo 1
Me: Whatcha doin lil bro?
Bro: Playin video games.
Me: Whatcha playin?
Bro: Grand theft auto... (pause) Did you know they have hookers in this game?
Me: (jaw drops) Oh yeah? What's a hooker?
Bro: (changing subjects) Did you just see that car? (I'm sure he has no idea what a hooker is, at least I hope not)

Convo 2
I'm playing with my little sisters hair.
Sis: Don't touch my hair, I have lice.
Me: Who said that?
Sis: I dunno, just don't touch it.

Convo 3
Bro and sis are playing with sparklers chasing us around and then they run to the swing set.
Me: What are ya'll doing?
Sis: Putting our sparklers on the swing set.
Me: Why? You're supposed to be drawing with them.
Bro: We are welding... duh.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Not the cleanest video, but hilarious!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A message from George Carlin

Today while sitting at work I was in a pretty poor mood. I was going to blog, but had nothing to say. Then I received this e-mail and decided to share because I think it is a great message.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ' I love you ' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

~George Carlin