Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Walmart is taking over the world

I've had this theory for a really long time, and I think it is becoming a reality.

I don't know if you've seen it or not but apparently Walmart is teaming up with Dell to "help doctors out." They are working on a mass computer system package that will store our medical records. Yes you heard it right, Walmart wants our medical information. I wonder if they are going to cater their weekly fliers to our medical needs?

Most people probably don't see this as a problem, but most people don't have my theory. Looking back you can see Walmart's progress to world domination. Here's what I think the management staff is thinking.

Plan 1: Get rid of mom and pop stores by intruding small towns and building right next door to larger ones.

Plan 2: Get local world dominator McDonald's to join in the "mass takeover" endeavor and place one in the larger stores.

Plan 3: In smaller stores put in the cherry slushy machine that all people crave, but can't seem to find anywhere.

Plan 4: Have a gas station that makes gas cheaper than every other location, even by the highway.

Plan 5: Add a bank so people can deposit their checks before shopping. Also add a money center to make money issues easier.

Plan 6: Add a Red Box -- because nothing is better than $1 movies.

Plan 7: Host medical records to make it "easier" for doctors.

So far all these plans have come true, but honesty what is next? Taking over USPS? Buying out The New York Times? Printing money?

As you can see, Walmart is clearly evil. The sad thing is I sometimes shop there because they are open 24 hours and need that 3am sweet treat fix.

***UPDATE*** There is another plan I totally forgot about. Lil' Woman reminded me that Walmart does oil changes (with an hour wait) and other minor car repairs. So now while you get your oil changed you can pick up the weeks groceries.

4 comments:

teasinglydiverse said...

Oh man...your theory sounds about right to me! Thank goodness I'm 3 highway changes away from Walmart and they haven't taken to opening stores in the CENTER of major cities. I'd be in trouble if they did!

Lil' Woman said...

Don't forget that you can also get our oil changed and your car fixed.

a H.I.T. said...

And all your groceries!!!! It's a good thing there are no Walmarts here in NYC. Or if there are, they've hid them pretty well.

Happy Thursday! Left a surprise for you on my blog... :)

Trixie said...

Oh man! I totally forgot about oil and car repairs...and tires! But, Walmart cannot put on your rearview mirror when you throw your purse in your car and accidently knock it off...bastards!

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