Life's not fair

As Mother's Day approaches I find myself more and more bitter. Not because I am sick of seeing all the ads like a typical holiday, but because for the first time in my life I won't be celebrating with my mother or my grandmother. This is first for me.

Even though Easter and my sister's birthday were my first true holiday's alone, I feel like this will be the hardest one I have faced thus far.

Every year we would go to my grandma's house and have lunch then spend the day with her. Typically she would cook even though we always told her not to. I miss that. This year I had already planned a surprise for my mom by January because I knew this would be an extremely rough year for her, but now she's gone too.

I can't help but be pissed off. I'm pissed off that my grandma was taken from me in September. I'm pissed off that I had to turnaround and plan my mom's funeral in February. It's just not fair.

And believe me I know that life's not fair. Everyone has told me that, I grew up knowing that but I don't care. This is just wrong. It's wrong to do this to anyone. No one deserves pain like this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'm 25-years-old and I feel like I have lost the biggest part of who I am, and I have because these are the women that made me who I am.

So I sit here in a slump, ranting about things I know I can't fix. But I do hope that all of you who are lucky to still have your mother's and grandmother's make sure you let them know how special they are because you never know when it will be the last time you get to hear them tell you that they love you too.

Rest in peace grandma and mom, I will forver love and miss you.