It's more than a holiday weekend

So not only is Saturday the Fourth of July, it is also my birthday. Normally, I would be completely stoked because it is one of my favorite holidays, but this year I am completely bummed. No, it isn't because I will be 26 and technically closer to 30 than 20 (which has crossed my mind several times). It's because this year is the first year I will be "celebrating" without my grandma and my mom.

I can't seem to stop thinking about my mom this week. I keep remembering all of the little things that I know I will miss the most. So instead of making this post another sob story, I decided to post some 4th of July memories and remember her like she deserves.

1. Every July 4th my mother would call me at 11:56 a.m. and sing Happy Birthday to me. I was born at 11:56 and she called to let me know that it was at that time that I really aged.

2. Growing up I was convinced that the whole world celebrated me on my birthday, my mom never shot me down by telling me that it wasn't just for me. I eventually figured it out.

3. After my birthday song call, she would call me to ask when I was going to be at her house, if I didn't answer she would leave me a voicemail saying "Hey, this is your mommy!" in the most excited voice ever.

4. My mom always told me that on July 3rd she convinced my family to do fireworks because she knew that she was going to have me on the 4th. Everyone thought she was crazy, but did it anyways. When the 4th came, she went into labor.

5. When my mom was in labor my grandma was there with her. As the clock kept ticking closer and closer to noon, my grandma kept telling her she needed to hurry up and have me because it was almost lunch time. She had me just before lunch.

6. One year she decided to make my birthday cake instead of buying one. My sister decided to decorate it and instead of getting a red, white and blue cake... it was baby pink and baby blue. I told them it was a birthday party not a baby shower.

7. On my 21st birthday she bought me a bottle of wine. It was so good I couldn't stop drinking it. I remember my uncle started freaking out thinking I was drunk and going to drive home. My mom assured him that I was welcomed to stay in my own home.

8. For a good 6 years or so we would go out for my birthday, as opposed staying in and I got to pick what I wanted to do. For dinner I would say I wanted to go to a Mexican restaurant and she would have them put a sombrero on my head and sing to me. I also went to a theme park and we would stay until the fireworks were over and the park was closing.

9. My 24th birthday she had a custom ring made for me. She tortured me for months about my birthday present. When I finally got it I was so happy. I put it on and realized it was insanely big. She felt bad that it was so big, but was happy that I loved it. I cherish that ring now, and still haven't had it sized.

10. Every year I spent my actual birthday with my family. I know a lot of people go out with the friends on theirs, but I never felt deprived. I loved spending the day with them every year.

11. On my 16th birthday I got a picture of a wrecked car instead of the actual thing. I was just as happy with that picture as if I had seen it in person.

12. Growing up there were many times that we almost got in trouble for playing with fireworks in city limits. My grandpa and uncle were instigators and would go buy a ton of them for me every year.

13. On my 25th birthday my mom called and let me know that I was officially a quarter of a century old.

14. On my siblings birthday's we would usually grill out burgers, but on my birthday mom would always make me steak and potatoes because it was my favorite. I always felt special.

15. The 4th was one of her favorite holidays, she started planning our party for this year in January and I thought she was nuts. Too bad she isn't going to be here.

I could keep going on and on about the great times we had, but I figure that's enough. I wish you all a wonderful 4th of July.